Who Do You Love?

I love my coconut butter moisturizer which makes me smell delicious. I love my butterfly ring which I scored at a clothing swap. I love my books, my budding career and food (making and eating it). I love my family even though they drive me crazy sometimes. And last, but certainly not least, I love my friends.

It was Thursday evening - the new Saturday in Toronto and I was in much need of girly therapy. I was stressing over the recent move, the uncertainty of the future and was on the fence about Mr. Hollywood. So when my friend, Little Miss Scarlett invited me out, I ran over there and became the fastest runner in history (in heels of course). Armed with cameras, curled hair and dresses too short for our own good, we were trouble and we liked it. We were the unstoppable trio, the Charlies Angels, maybe even the Supremes...and we were off.

Well almost...

While the sexiness is being developed (I mean accentuated) drinks are poured, music is played and the madness unfolds even before leaving the house. Shame was thrown out the window when Cameron and I waited for the cab on the front porch and began a peep show comparing and complaining about our physical short comings. It was then when we realized, oh God, the neighbours are on the porch and have just seen an entirely new set of planets this evening. Shit.

So okay, we were a little tipsy and I blame the recipe below that I concocted for my friends. Here is what kicked off the night in pure sexy food passion...

JAPANESE LOVIN' COCO COCKTAIL

1 large bunch of red grapes (concords work best)

2 cups coconut water

Juice from 1" inch sliver of an organic beet (used just for colour) and organic ginger

4 ounces of Asian pear cold sake

1/2 cup ice

Place all ingredients except for the sake and blend in a blender until combined. If you don't have a juicer, you can add the beet and ginger with a little bit of water into the blender to start and then strain out the bits. Set this juice aside and add it to the final mixture in the blender. Pour into glasses and garnish as you'd like.

Makes 2 servings.

This is a first...a drink recipe. But I figure that there are certainly food aspects to it, so why not? It wasn't until the other day when my girlfriend had asked me, why not put coconut water in your recipe since it's the best natural electrolyte available? Brilliant. Not to mention, grapes increase vital energy and are used to build body fluids and blood. And funny enough, grapes have been revered for treating liver malfunctions including hepatitis and jaundice due to its ability to strengthen the liver's corresponding tissues. But yes, I understand, there is still alcohol in this drink, but I'm trying to create a little balance with minimal repercussions. When I mentioned cold sake to my friend, she seemed completely disinterested, but I swear it's the new vodka, so give it a try.

With Japanese love in our bellies, our ride had arrived. As three women folded their legs into the cab, the destination was set. Suddenly, the cab morphed into super cabbie as flashes of camera lights danced wildly inside...magic was in the making. Arms stretched out and we huddled in close to try to position ourselves into the borders of the lens. We puckered up, laughed and made love to the camera that evening and it was hot.

[The cab driver rolls his eyes and continues a conversation on his headset.]

Pulling up to destination #1, I throw on my dimples as the girls whip out their sweet smiles. We signal to complete strangers on the patio and as bait lure them in to get us in.

Walking past angry women who didn't have the same power as the dynamic trio, we shimmey past the cloned barbies and make our way in. The music gets louder and begins to penetrate me. Deep base breaths new life and becomes it's own living entity within me. Dancing and stretching my arms up and closing my eyes, I become lost and free all at the same time. I was alive again and suddenly I had clarity over my limbo with Mr. Hollywood.

I realized, I couldn't continue with him. I could try to be open to possibility, but truthfully, even that was slim. I had to create boundaries because after the Intellect, I couldn't allow myself to get hurt again. I can't say it isn't tempting to disregard boundaries entirely after all, Mr. Hollywood is an exhibitionist and his appetite for adventure is impressive. Passion and primal nature stormed its way through elevators, kitchen countertops and stairs. I was devoured and loved it. But soon to be leaving for two months and rebuilding from a bad break up, Mr. Hollywood was in no position to be with anyone and I understood...because maybe neither was I. He came with bags and lots of them. So, I could be there as a friend (and God help me resistance will be tough) and hope that for his sake that he can unpack his life and get organized again. I would just rather prefer that someone I meet could check their baggage at the door because they aren't mine to carry.

To find happiness no matter with who or what, ask yourself, Who Do You Love?

I love my friends...they make me laugh and I can count on them...that you know.

Love is premature with anyone of the opposite sex right now, but I can certainly say that I like Mr. Hollywood...but most importantly...

...I love me first.