NEW INTERVIEW: MELODY GARDOT!

I am proud to present to you, my interview with Melody Gardot (click here to read it) on her thoughts regarding love, sex and food. As a sneak peak into who she is, I've attached a video below of her which was shot by photographer Shervin Lainez and by Melody herself (on her mini camera). This video gives you a sneak peak at the behind the scenes making of her video, Baby I'm a Fool. Enjoy.

Unconditional Love

Together in a packed concert hall, hundreds gathered to wrap their hearts into the sweet sounds, memories and love of recently passed Mr. Haydain Neale from Jacksoul. Surrounded by bodies floating to his melodies and tear soaked shoulders, I closed my eyes and drowned myself in the positive energy that filled the room.

I couldn't help but think about the ways that we deal with loss. Sometimes we lose our appetites unable to digest anything more, while at other times we eat emotionally trying to fill our void's insatiable appetite. While I haven't suffered a loss to this capacity, I have in other ways and I thought I would provide a couple of ways to emotionally eat - the right way.

Repression & Expression

Grief is directly associated with our lungs and when properly expressed, we begin to strengthen our internal basis of health. Repression on the other hand, causes constriction and congestion impacting the lungs paired organ (based on Chinese Medical theory), the large intestine. This is why you'll see many people suffer from constipation due to unresolved grief and their inability to let go. If we can become mindful of our grief, we can begin to transform it. From a food perspective, the outward quality of pungent foods, enters the lungs and may assist in clearing grief. So at this cold time of year when our energies are drawn inwards,we can sit with family and friends and create a pot of soup and add in a little more garlic, ginger, cayenne and onion. One of my favourite comfort foods is my mother's Russian Borscht that perfectly fits the bill.

Healing the Heart

It was said in the Inner Classic of Chinese Medicine that, "When the heart is serene, pain seems negligble." So treating the spirit of the heart by grounding ourselves with whole grains like oats and brown rice will help to centre us. Mushrooms (nearly every form) are also beneficial as they all have cerebral effects. They help to settle nerves, nurture the heart, calm the mind and soothe the spirit. Lastly we can't forget about the power of magnesium and how up to 70% of North Americans are deficient in this crucial mineral. I rant about greens for a reason because magnesium is at the core of every chlorophyll molecule. So by consuming green foods like kale, collard greens and green drinks with E3 Live, we nourish ourselves to our very core. It's maybe one of the reasons why E3 Live has been indicated for issues of depression. Not surprisingly green is a healing colour bringing about peace and harmony. Go figure...

Now I can't promise you that by eating these foods you will be miraculously healed, but I can say that by eating and nourishing our insides, we stand a better chance. If you're like I was back six months ago and completey lose your appetite, then turn to shakes with added greens to get in whatever nutrients you can. Back then, I pushed down grief in an effort not to face it and instead smoked to numb whatever I could. However the more I pushed it back, the more it decided to come to the surface months later to be dealt with. What I realize now is this...

By holding onto grief, we suffer. So instead, we need to celebrate like we did last night and understand that we're all connected and should give and receive what Haydain provided almost effortlessly...unconditional love.

Thank you Haydain for your drive to educate and feed our souls with music. You will be missed.

Keeping Her On Her Toes

Lately, a girl friend of mine was having a rough go. Too busy for her own good, she became slightly absent minded. It might have been all those late nights of partying, but it was catching to her and her ability to handle stress was going down the drain. She stubbed her foot multiple times and I have been witness to her hair being sucked into the end of her blowdryer because she wasn't paying attention. While she was having the time of her life with her new beau, she was also neglecting herself. She was slipping and needed a little help when it came to getting back on her feet.

Here was the plan of action:

Sleep

A foreign concept lately for her ever since her new beau walked into the picture. I get it, we meet someone and we're spending oodles of time laying in bed together until the wee hours. It's exciting and you can't get enough...but your body can...and eventually it catches up. So aiming to be in bed by 11pm so that the body can regenerate and cortisol levels can go down, would be a good idea. He's not going anywhere and besides, you'll look a lot prettier with your beauty rest.

E3 Coco-Vanilla Elixir

My favourite mixture of E3 Live, coconut water and vanilla extract, this is just about the tastiest elixir to have first thing plus before and after your workouts. But with their new Brain On Formula which is a concentrated version of the original, it is certainly the way to go. It's significant source of phenylethylamine (PEA) promotes clearer thinking and focus giving you optimal cognitive function. Yep, a no-brainer. Pun intended.

Essential Fatty Acids

If you've ever walked into a health food store, it becomes pretty overwhelming with what omega to take. You're faced with omega 3,6,7 and 9 and soon I'm sure the'll discover another number. My rule of thumb is to keep it simple and stick to Omega 3's which are generally derived from cold water fish. From a dietary perspective, sardines, which I love with a little dijon mustard and sprouts topped on a cracker is a good choice as well. I know, those little fish aren't really that sexy to most North Americans, but don't knock it until you try it folks...

Greens

My girl friend is a major carb lover. Lots of cravings for bread and sugar. Makes sense because when she's feeling down and depleted, her need for serotonin (the feel good happy hormone) increases. So she finds it in any way she can by indulging in foods that will give her a temporary quick spike before it shoots back down again. Slowly transitioning into a plate with a larger portion of greens and less starchy carbs is a more balanced approach. Greens build blood which fuels our cells and gives us energy and concentration overall. If you can't get in your greens, begin shaking it up. It's that simple.

So armed with some tools, my girl friend was eager to bring back a little balance in her world. She was determined to get back to becoming more conscious of her surroundings and not forgetting to nourish herself. Excited about the new man in her life, she admitted to wanting to keep him on his toes, but I had to remind her that in order to do so, she had to be firmly planted on hers.

The Mumbler

There with soft mood lighting that flickered at Niagara Cafe, I anxiously sat awaiting for my dinner date. Adjusting my top, smoothing out my hair and sipping on my Chianti, I waited patiently. Storming through the door, my date finally arrived...the Comedian. I know what you're thinking...ooh tell me more. Well, I'd like to tell you all about him, but sorry to disappoint you, but the Comedian is my gal pal who is master of making me laugh when I'm down in the dumps. Not a second to waste and with her coat still half on, she immediately dove into her story about her date with the Mumbler.

The Comedian found the Mumbler online and after a few short message exchanges and agreed to go out for drinks at a local wine bar in the city. Walking into the wine bar fashionably late, she saw him from across the room and was immediately impressed.

Melissa, he was beautiful and had a smile that made my knees buckle. And the best part? He was taller than me, even with heels. (She's 5'10 in flats)

Sitting down, she listened to his successful career in finance, his amazing traveling stories and his desire to settle down with someone special. I'm so special baby, you don't even know it, she thought. Conversation flowed at the same quick pace as the wine and they grew increasingly flirtaeous with one another. Hands went from the knees, to around the shoulder and soon enough, the Mumbler went in for the kill and planted one on her lips.

Mmmm, he said after their brief lip lock.

Smiling and touching her face with one hand, he reached over and paid the bill with the other. The night couldn't have gone any better and the Comedian was beginning to have faith in love all over again. As the evening was drawing to a close, he walked her to her car and passionately grabbed her for the final goodnight kiss.

And that's when it happened Melissa.

What?

The mumbling.

What began as a couple of mmmm's, soon turned into a full mumble.

What do you mean mumble?

MUMBLE. The man sounded like he was speaking in code for horny.

Stopping and looking at him, he opened his blissfully closed eyes...what?

Did you say something?

No, I'm just really enjoying your lips.

Um...okay.

Giving him another shot, she leaned in for round two. But it started again and was followed by a head massage.

I felt like I was making out with the girl who washes my hair at the salon. At any moment, I swore the man was going to pull out conditioner. My whole head was beginning to feel violated and I started to worry about my safety Mel. This man was going to either make love to my head, put in a leave in treatment or mistakenly call me Clarice and eat me.

Without any remote possibility of a second date, the Comedian pulled back, smiled nervously and quickly got into her car...locking the door behind her.

Feeling once again hopelessly out of love, the Comedian and I instead decided to find humor in our lives and continued to catch up over unbelievable food that graced out palates and fed our souls. Just when I thought our night couldn't get any better, I remembered the treat I had stashed away in my purse...UliMana's Tao of Cacao.

I had received this little package from the States just the other day and was meaning to sample the assortment of organic and raw truffles that were sent. I couldn't think of anyone better to sample it with than with the Comedian. We both could use a little sexy chocolate.

In an assortment of treats from Hemp Brownies to Chia Moon Drops, these little sexy treats contained cacao butter, agave and coconut oil among its ingredients. We moved onto the Lemon Fig Bar, breaking it carefully in half and savoured the lemon essential oil, pecans and figs. Our mouth was being made love to. Passing them to one another from under the table we hid them from our server like crack and moved on to the Chocolate Apricot Nuts and licked our fingers. The great thing was that eating these were guilt free. With no white sugar, wheat or dairy, I was still adhearing to Project Skinny Jean. So sinful, so good, so sexy and still healthy...gotta love it. In an orgy of chocolate love, the Comedian and I fell head over heels and our dating woes were the furthest thing from our minds.

At that moment, blissful perspective came as we finally stopped and realized that sometimes taking time out to be grateful for the small things in life like good friends, good humour, plus a little chocolate treat can make life just a little bit sweeter right when you need it.

Mmmmm.

Bottled Up

11:32am and Baby (a.k.a. my iPhone) tried to do it again. She tried to commit suicide by jumping off the table. Luckily, she didn't break her cute little face, but she was badly injured. Wrapping her in her pink blankey, I drove straight to Baby's hospital...iRepair. On the road, she began beeping, but I couldn't understand her. All that displayed was a white screen. Almost there baby, hang on! I was trying to be strong for her, I couldn't allow myself to cry...so I bottled it up.

The front door chimed as I stormed through. I ran holding out Baby...

Oh my God, please fix her!!!! I think she's broken! I don't understand what she's trying to say! Look, her screen is white...she's so white!

You're going to have to calm down miss. Let me just take a look and I'll see what I can do.

You don't understand, I've had a bad couple of days. Emotional unavailable men and then just when I thought it couldn't get worse...Baby jumps off the table!

[Cue the snotty crying and hyperventilation]

The repairman officially looks at me like I'm crazy and who could blame him.

You're going to have to give me your iPhone miss, I need to take it and examine what's wrong with her.

Grudgingly, I pass it over to him with shaky hands and he takes her around the corner where he's out of my view. Nervous I think to myself...No one puts Baby in the corner.

Sitting there in a stark room with nothing but a faux leather Ikea couch and out dated magazines, I begin to breathe deeply. I have to gain some perspective and remember all the amazing things that have been happening. I just got my own column appearing every Monday in t.o.night newspaper, Toronto's first free evening newspaper. BIG win for me.

[Melissa's mascara smeared face cracks a smile as she sniffles in snot]

Yes, certainly something to be proud of. The new Sexy Food Therapy site (which isn't published yet) is looking amazing and it's all finally coming together. Hard work, certainly has paid off. Breeeeathe Melissa.

The repair man comes out from around the corner and I whip my head around and stand up to face him. It all happens in slow motion...just like the movies.

Okay, so it's fixed. The LCD screen was broken, but it's okay now.

[Melissa grabs the repairman and hugs him as he awkwardly pats her back]

Thank you, thank you, thank you...

Paying the man for his services, I take Baby home. We've both had a long day. Time for some food...

However, I felt tired and was searching for magical left overs to transform. With some beets from my failed Beet Brownie attempt, I decided to make myself my Beet it Love dish. Then I realized I had some cooked rice in a bowl and decided I could make my Comfort Coconut Rice Patties. That paired with a nice green salad? Oh ya...I was good as golden.

Beets and greens are amazing vegetarian sources of building blood. Exactly what most women need during their menses. The rice patties help to tonify the spleen based on Chinese Nutrition Therapy, sedating worry and providing comfort. And after the crazy week I've had, it's exactly what I needed.

I began to think about my friend, Kristen Gale, owner of the 10 Spot Beauty Bar here in Toronto. Recently in her blog, Dating Myself, she came up with a Worry Jar. Writing out worries on little scrap pieces of paper, she threw them into a jar and presto change-o, they were practically gone! The Worry Jar was like a Venus Fly trap! Thinking about it, I thought I would create my own Worry Jar, but because I felt I could use a little more positive in my life, I thought I could create a Career, Melissa & Man Jar. Yup. Four jars that would bottle up my worries and wishes and send them to the Universe.

Hey, it couldn't hurt, right? And no, I haven't lost my mind thank you.

Other than breaking down in front of random strangers, I typically don't cry easy. It might be from my past life in advertising, but I usually have a terrible habit of bottling things up and trying to save face. However, as a practitioner I know that bottling things up is detrimental to our bodies, so I try not to. Old habits die hard, I tell ya. The emotions bury themselves in organs and weakens them. This theory extends to people who've had heart attacks (e.g. from spousal deaths) and to those with major digestive disorders (e.g. from excessive worry). Simply put, our emotions have a major connection to our physical selves.

So maybe, if we can find an avenue like family and true friends who will listen and keep in touch, we should access them. But if we feel like we'll be judged, maybe we should allow our to pens flow and our fingers to type instead. Because while it's okay to feel sad or angry every now and then, letting go of it is even better. After all, I was once told that holding on is the key to suffering and I'd rather not suffer.

So with my jars all bottled up for transport, I've got my wishes and worries set to launch off to the Universe.

Thankfully, Baby is feeling better and has provided one kick ass soundtrack for take off...

Hug Me

HUG WANTED: Single, smart, attractive thirty *cough* something year old girl with a slightly quirky personality needs hug. Tired and beginning to look a little weathered from all the long hours, lately, she isn't thinking straight. Her blender regurgitated her green slurpie and she drove over a pot hole the other day which caused her to almost stab herself in the eye with her mascara wand. Please, don't let a cop be reading this. This sometimes klutzy girl was on her way to the city with a makeup job that looked like a two-year old had applied it. She's tired and simply needs a hug...and food of course.

If I had to describe my state of emotion the other day, this ad would be it. I was Miss Sucky in full effect. Not to mention, when I looked around me, I was surrounded by attractive men with their female accessories. Chewing on each other's faces, they would cuddle, grope and have zero shame. Get a room damn it, I thought and realized that I was 100% jealous.

So while I usually celebrate singledom, today I felt a little lonely. I simply would have to look on the bright side: I have allergies to cats, so at least that negates all possibility of being a cat lady. I have a sense of style and would never end up wearing an old Cotton Ginny sweater making houses out of popscile sticks with craft glue in a rented basement. Nooooo, not this little princess. So while the sometimes scary future awaits, my vision was set and I was on a mission.

[Melissa presses the pause button]

However, for now...I was feeling tender and my mission had to be paused. Desperately, I looked forward to meeting up with my best friend Dutchy (a.k.a. Gail) for a long awaited girl's night in. I was going to make some very special sexy food brownies for our night in of vino and catch up. There, in Dutchy's apartment, all of life's problems would melt away.

Okay, so I was being a little optimistic.

Arriving after a long day of work, I unpacked bags of ingredients to make Sexy Blood Building Brownies. Okay, so they sound a little creepy and maybe I need to rename them but here's the shpiel...

That time of the month is coming around the corner, I'm burning the candle at both ends and my iron generally is a little low. So, I felt that I needed to incorporate a little chocolate in my world to give me a little love and some beets to build blood. Yes, I know, a root vegetable and chocolate...odd. However, I've seen multiple recipes for this and all of them rant about it's goodness. So with Project Skinny Jean in mind, I wanted to create a gluten-free version without the white sugar that would be stilll produce tasty, gooey and moist brownies.

SEXY BLOOD BUILDING BROWNIES

1 bar Green & Black Organic Chocolate Bar

1 1/3 cup shredded raw organic beets

1 cup gluten free flour mix

1 cup almond flour

1/3 cup honey / agave nectar

1/3 cup softened organic butter

1 tsp vanilla extract

1/2 tsp salt

Preheat oven to 350.

Start by peeling the beets and set aside.

In a double broiler, melt the chocolate and set aside, then in a separate bowl, add in softened butter, honey and eggs and blend until fluffy with an electric mixer.

Pour in chocolate and mix well.

With a spoon fold in flours, beets, vanilla extract and salt. Combine without over stirring.
Pour into a greased small brownie baking sheet and place in the oven for 30 minutes or until knife comes out clean.

While strange, if the Beet Brownie Experiment worked, then I would reap the benefits of building blood and nourishing my heart and liver with beets. Plus I'd get my chocolate fix for the day. I didn't need a man! I had food damn it! Oh God I'm beginning to sound like a derranged cat lady...er...food lady...who could very well one day die single in her kitchen.

Please hug me.

Beating, blending and folding, it was looking good. Dutchy and I licked spoons and gave each other the nod of approval. So slipping in the tray of blood building brownie goodness, Dutchy and I refilled our vinos and caught up. Man, I missed her.

While I sat there and listened to her budding romance, I couldn't help but to feel a little envious. Certainly I was happy for her, but nonetheless, I remember what it felt like to be in love and have someone who felt the same. Texting each other every day and growing with anticipation, you make plans just so that you get the chance to see one another again. Connection is effortless, intensity is explosive and your heart aches when you're a part. Gooseflesh appears on the nape of your neck and back of your arms when you get close and butterflies are out of control. Staring at each other, words aren't almost pointless. You know what the other is thinking...you would do anything for the other because you are in love...well, Dutchy was.

Saved by the bell and from lover's bliss, I needed chocolate...the next best thing to sex (so they say). After all of 20 short minutes, I carefully sliced into the pan and did what any good friend would do...I passed the Beet Brownie Experiment over to Dutchy.

You do the honours. Try it.

Looking at it cautiously, she took the first bite and there it was...the struggling smile.

Mmmm...gooooood. She said with her mouthful.
No, no, no, no, no...it can't be. These are suppose to be my saviour, my Sexy Food Therapy recipe! It can't be.

But it was...they were terrible. In fact, I believe they resembled a spongy beet bread rather than being even a remote relative of chocolate. Mission Beet Brownie...ABORTED...for now.

This isn't over yet Beet Chocolate Brownie. I'll get you...

So while usually you get a recipe every Monday, I couldn't help but post one of mine that dreadfully failed. Yes, I am human, I make mistakes, and I make spongy beet bread and feed it to my friends.

Great. I've lost my ability to cook Dutchy. I need a hug.
Awwwe, [HUG] well, truthfully, you were always a better cook, then you were a baker. Just don't feed your baked goods to Mr. Potentials.

Stuffing our faces with horror, we began to laugh...hard. Choking on beets and doughy gluten-free crumbles, I realized, okay Melissa, time to laugh at your dramatic self. Life goes on.
Quickly grabbing my bag, I remembered the matcha tea I had purchased and began to make Chocolate Match Love in a Cup for the two of us. Washing down tasteless sponges, Dutchy continued to eat grabbing seconds. She was a trooper and she was trying to make me feel better. She was a trooper and she was true friend.

So when it comes to hugs maybe there's power in realizing they're not only physical, but rather metaphorical. That when life throws you beets, you have to embrace that what you try might to make of it, doesn't always turn out...maybe it wasn't suppose to. Maybe if we can laugh and embrace it, rather than to fall victim to it, we can come to see that it's all perfect in it's own imperfection.

[Melissa unpauses and finally discovers the play button]

Sexual Super Powers

Bat your lashes, show a little skin, smile with your eyes and bite your lip. As women, there has probably been several occasions that you've used your sexual powers. The topic came up in conversation the other day when I was having lunch with Elke. The topic swirled in her head as she realized that men were practically hypnotised when they ranted about a specific teacher. However upon taking the class, she realized that the teacher's sexual energy was oozing everywhere and the men were obviously eating it up. Which makes me wonder, are we misusing our sexual super powers?

Now I've seen men slap on the charm and maybe its just different with women rather than more. I'll admit that I have used these powers to my advantage. In fact, the day that I got my bag stolen from my car, I had batted my lashes so that someone could give me their private parking spot right outside a restaurant. Oh, I knew exactly what I was doing. Later, my bag along with all my vanity within it was stolen - ironic really.

[Our lunch arrives]

Yum.

Our hungry minds needed some fuel and this was mine on that day. Now it isn't too often that I have soy. In fact, since I've started writing, I've included only one soy recipe. Generally I find it doesn't sit well with people, is highly processed and a major allergen. However because we were at a vegetarian restaurant, I wanted a little more substance with my greens and opted for a little triangle of grilled tofu...couldn't hurt really. I swear that I try really hard to order something different every time I go to Fresh, but I keep going back to the Green Goddess every time. It's likely the mix of bok choy, broccoli, kale, seaweed, ginger and tahini sauce that gets me and makes my liver happy. Greens as you've heard me rant about, is where it's at. Since broccoli and kale both belong to the brassica family, always be mindful to cook them. They're goitrogenic which means they have the ability to inhibit the thyroid gland when eaten in excess. Broccoli simply put is super woman food. It naturally contains indole 3 carbinol which removes bad estrogens, has twice as much vitamin C than an orange and has more absorbable calcium than a glass of milk.

Sorry, I digress...food has the tendency to distract me.

Stuffing my face I remembered when Megan Fox, was actually quoted in saying that she felt her sexual powers were almost, "supernatural" and that she never knew if she'd ever get "comfortable with it". Funny, the article featured a photo of her straddling a white teddy bear belly down with nothing but a thong...hmmm...she's looking pretty comfortable to me.

Now don't get me wrong, I'm not saying that we should suppress our sexual energy because it's bad. There are positives aspects to it. In fact, it is a precursor to creativity and drive. Take animals for example: after they've been neutered they become completely docile. This isn't new news. Even in a medicine as old as Ayurveda (dating back 5,000 years), the sacral chakra which lies just below the abdomen is said to govern sexual and creative energy.

So with this knowledge, there needs to be some caution. Those individuals charged with an immense amount of sexual energy need to be careful since far too often it's channeled incorrectly. It may be controlled or submerged, but its very nature causes it to seek out means of expression. Unfortunately many individuals will seek out a less worthy outlet like sleeping around with everyone they're attracted to. Harnessing sexual power certainly calls for a lot of will power. When an orgy of overindulgence is created, men in particular become robbed of their jing or essence as believed in Chinese Medicine. Certainly I'm not telling you to be abstinent and become an artist, but rather to analyze how you use your sexual powers and if they're serving you in a way that's propelling you forward in life. Because when we're aroused, our senses become heightened and we become alive and feel energized. All those qualities when applied to creativity of the mind can produce inspiration to grow from.

The problem is that talking about sex, particularly in North America is taboo with the general population which sets the stage for confusion from youth and the reliance on media to dictate how they should expend their energy. Sexual powers are then misused, STD's become ramped and abuse is inflicted by the self and by others.

Sex is everywhere and we all know that it sells. Take the name of this column for example: SEXY food therapy. People are drawn in and some are under the false impression that my writing is about how to improve their sexual performance through aphrodisiac foods. It isn't until they read further that they realize the positive connection that is attempted to provide light on love, sex and our emotional connections to food. Writing is my outlet along with cooking. We can find fuel for depleted sexual energy through foods like black sesames (particularly the paste) and E3 Live which is a blue green algae that fuels our kidneys which in Chinese Medicine has a role in governing sexuality. Other than food, it can be directed into martial arts where certain practices of Qi Gong and Tai Qi require abstinence for one year so that sexual energy can be guided to fuel their practice. It measures will, strength and discipline.

Certainly, I'm not telling you to go cold turkey or go on a 1-year sexual hiatus. Sex rather is a beautiful thing that needs to be given credit and removed from the dirty stigma that's latched on for years. It connects us to our core, drives, challenges and speaks to us. If we can figure out how to properly guide it, we can then through positive action, get into bed with life. From there we'll be able to discover the orgasmic triumph that is received when we're propelled forward...which makes us want to do it again and again...

Now that's sexy...