Consoling a Friend about her Mr. Hair

Curly, long or straight, we all have it...well, most of us do. We pay big bucks to get more of it and even get rid of it. We buy razors that emanate high powered airplanes to sheer off the hair on our legs and yelp like chiuwawas when it gets ripped off. But when it comes to meeting a man and their body hair, how much is too much?

Living with three women gives me the luxury to always have material. Not to mention, the fabulous women I surround myself with provide me with juicy details of what they think, feel and believe. It's easy to stay connected into the female psyche. So when going through the issue of body hair, we all have our own opinions. Some like a little chest hair on a man, while others want a reincarnated baby bottom of a chest. However most of us agree, hair does not belong on the back. I'm not talking about a couple of waving-hello strands, but more so the full-fledged rug.

It was only recently that my friend Crys told me about her first date with Mr. Hair. He was attractive, spoke four different languages, well-traveled, read tons of books and had her in stitches. While speaking to him over a glass of wine, he grabbed her and kissed her out of the blue sending a fury of butterflies to race up her spine. They couldn't keep their hands off each other. So throwing caution to the wind she invited him to stay the night. She gave him the ground rules that that finger toothbrushing was his only option, and that there would be no sex. Good girl, I say...make him wait.

That evening as they got ready to curl up underneath the sheets and spoon one another there he was...covered in what seemed to be a fur coat. Low and behold there he was, Mr. Hair. Luckily it was late, so they curled up and went to bed. She hugged the flat sheet tight as she noticed he was fine without it. She thought, "hmmm, made it keeps him warm."

She called me the next day in tears feeling completely helpless, "I don't understand Mel, everything was perfect. What do I do? Is this a deal breaker?" While some women are fine with a little Mr. Fun Fur, most of us are not. As most women, we shave our legs, our arm pits and even keep things a little groomed down south. Is it unreasonable to ask our men to do the same? After countless unsuccessful dates, Crys had had it and was about to befriend her long time buddy, Hagen Daz. So I did the best thing I knew how. I offered to come over, make her food and indulge in a glass of wine.

When I got over there, I tried to make light of the situation. Since Mr. Hair possessed all of the qualities she was looking (sans the hair of course), we had to figure out how to eventually deal with the situation. She could:

A) Bring out the wax as part of a kinky night in..."oh look honey, I know the perfect place..."
B) Leave pamphlets around of local laser clinics
C) "I'll let you shave mine if I can shave yours..."

While accomplishing my duty as her friend to make her laugh, I brought out my next weapon. My food. We not only ate it, but I went through why we were eating it. Here it was:

HORSERADISH POTATO CRUSTED TILAPIA WITH ROASTED RED PEPPER SALSA

2 filets of tilapia

2 tbsp of horseradish

1 grated white potato

Roasted Red Pepper Salsa

2 red peppers

4 cloves garlic minced

6-7 pitted and sliced black olives

Small handful of parsley

2 tbsp extra virgin olive oil

1 tbsp balsamic vinegar

1 tbsp agave nectar

Salt to taste

Begin with making the salsa since it requires more time. This recipe is worth it!

Put both red peppers in the oven on a low broil. Watch this carefully, but ideally you want the red pepper's skin to blacken.

Once blackened all over, place in a bowl and cover with saran wrap. This will allow the peeling to be much easier!

In a separate bowl, chop parsley until relatively fine, add in olives and minced garlic.

Return to the red peppers and peel the skin off, chop in half, remove seeds and cube red pepper.

Add red pepper to bowl with other ingredients and add in olive oil, vinegar, agave, salt and mix well.
Set mixture aside.

Tilapia Preparation

Preheat oven to 375F.

Grate white potato and set aside in a bowl.

Add horseradish mixture to grated potato and squeeze over a sink out excess water and moisture.

Paste the mixture to bottom side of tilapia.

Add oil to oven safe skillet on medium to high heat and add fish. Sear one side until bottom becomes relatively crusted and golden brown. Don't worry if some of the potato mixture begins to flake off.

Place fish into oven to finish cooking the fish. Since tilapia is relatively thin, this should take no longer than 10 minutes.

Once done, serve on a plate and add roasted red pepper salsa on top.

Serve with a side of greens with a basic oil and lemon dressing.

Given that my friend was in need of some consoling, I took into consideration that her lung qi was a little impaired. What does this mean? When we cry and are grieving, the energy of our lungs contract. In order to counter balance this effort, we need to prepare foods which help to bring about an expansive quality to relieve this energetic burden. All the ingredients of this dish are just that. The garlic and horseradish are pungent and give this dish a good bite. While both stimulate the lung meridian horseradish increaseas circulation and is high in not only iron but potassium. In the end, despite the medicinal properties, this dish was made with good intention and of course love for a close friend.

That night as the salsa rolled off our fork we laughed about the whole seemingly superficial situation and licked our garlicy fingers. Crys realized that she needed to find comedy in it all and most importantly how to nourish herself through the tough times...even if it was her friend that was doing the cooking. Now it's only anybody's guess whether she will be able to see past the forest of hair and look beyond to what seems to be a really good heart...

I'll keep you posted.