Mr. Music & Change: An Oxymoron?

The cat came back. Maybe not the very next day, but he did almost four months later. And I wouldn't peg him as a cat in his previous life...but definitely a dog. Professing his love and promising to turn over a new leaf, I had to wonder, is it possible for men to really change?

Mr. Music was tall, in your face handsome and had a voice that could make your knees buckle. He was a talented vocalist, bartended on the side and was a model. I had met him at the start of the year when my heart was heavy and I had one less button undone to say, "Hi I'm single". Jess had introduced me to him since they bartended together. Since then, we spoke on the phone, and soon started dating.

Everything seemed perfect, right down to the energy between the sheets, but just as he soared at 6'2" so did the thoughts in his head. I could never bring his airy Gemini self back down for myself, the earthy Virgo. I began to feel like his personal chef and maid as I cooked for him and cleaned. I found myself asking him repeatedly, "are you listening?" as he fumbled his way through youtube following Obama's trail and not mine. How did I ever put up with it? By this point, I had had it and soon began doing what any woman in my position would have done: I searched for any small insignificant reason to break up. To turn that opportunistic little molehill into that gem of a break me up with this putz mountain.

Almost 4 months later, my spaceship phone was ringing (my phone is ridiculous looking) and there it was...his number. Not his name, but his number. You have to realize that the day I left Mr. Music, I sat staring at my phone and smiled as I confirmed to my phone that it was okay to delete this contact. He was gone and all with just the press of a button. God, I love technology sometimes. But all of a sudden he was back, couldn't stop thinking about me, realized he took me for granted and hoping I could provide emotional space for him. I agreed to meet up with Mr. Music over a couple of drinks to hear him out. Not only did he pay the tab but he hung on to my every word. It all seemed perfect in theory...

As we spoke, I made it clear that I've been dating and even went to Colorado just recently. I still had heart for Mr. Music and wanted to be honest. Being less than thrilled about the whole concept, he made it clear he couldn't handle it. After 4 months, it amazes me how he could have expected me to drop everything just because he decided he was ready to change. From previous experience men change for 2 months (and that's being generous), get comfortable and revert right back to where they started. So after speaking my piece and setting him straight he still decided that he wanted to prove himself. I'm not saying that men can't change, but I can tell you that I walk with serious apprehension about the whole thing.

As I spent last night with communal spirit over some tasty BBQ I didn't miss him one single bit. I enjoyed the company of 15 of my peeps leaving my energy for not just my friends, but the good food that was circulating. Without any hesitation, I have to share with you a recipe that created itself: Grilled Coconut Lime Corn. Unbelievable. One bite and this sexy food made me forget about whether Mr. Music would ever change and even if it mattered.

Despite the high amount of genetically modified corn available in markets, I was blessed to have Megs and her partner Alvaro bring organic to the table. Corn strengthens overall energy (or what I'd like to call "Qi") of the blood, stomach and bladder. Best of all, according to Rebecca Wood from The New Whole Foods Encyclopedia, it, "engenders joyfulness." And really, who couldn't use a little more joy in their lives?


GRILLED COCONUT LIME CORN
6 corn on the cob with husks removed
2 -3 limes cut in half
Cayenne spice (to suit your taste)
Garden of Life coconut oil
Sea salt.

Warm up the grill on medium to high heat covered for about 5-10 minutes.
Sprinkle cayenne evenly on corn.
Place corn on grill turning heat down and cooking for 10-15 minutes covered.
Turn the corn and cook for an additional 10-15 minutes covered and squeeze lime generously over corn.
Once grill lines appear and corn is thoroughly cooked, remove from grill, squeeze more lime and generously add a Garden of Life Coconut oil on corn.
Love & enjoy!

Before I forget, I'd like to defend the use of coconut oil, which has gotten a bad wrap for the past several decades when the processed food monsters tried to convince the public that Franken-margarine was better. Yes, coconut oil is high in saturated fat, BUT it is over 50 percent medium-chained fatty acids, which in other words means it contains a kind of fat that's not stored as fat. What could be better? It also has lauric acid which enhances brain function and the immune system. So chuck out the so-called heart healthy Franken-margarine, stop feeling guilty and enjoy some coconut oil damn it.

As for Mr. Music....I can't give you a definitive answer on whether men have the ability to change or not. I can say this, I am too thankful for those around me who I would never in a million years want to see change. So why should I step back versus stepping forward? Isn't life too short to welcome someone back in your life where you become filled with apprehension? In the meantime, I'd rather fill my soul with friends that love me and food that gives me joy.

Why bother living any other way?