Can You Have Comfort Without The Sacrifice?

If you haven't realized yet, the basis of all of my verbal diarrhea is my perpetual state of emotional eating. The phrase in itself has been given a bad wrap over the years with women drowning their tears and anger in tubs of cookie dough ice cream to gift wrapping their faces in Wendy's or McDonald's. I love food, but real food. For some, food is like a foreign lover that they're unable to relate to in the ways that really matter. But for me, food has been a way that I've been able to connect, whether it be to a lover, family or friends. I'll cook when I'm sad, angry or happy and mow down on food not to fill a void but to nourish myself. So yes, I eat with every emotion that overflows me. But time and time again I get asked, how can you find comfort without the sacrifice?

When I asked my friends about what their favourite comfort food is and why, I got the following responses:

Leanne: Macaroni and cheese with bread crumbs on top because it reminds me of my mother...on her good days.

Tara: McCain deep and delicious chocolate cake. It got me through University and the most enjoyable way that I gained my freshman 15.

Sarah: Homemade lasagna...it's warm, Italian and delicious...just the way I like my men.

My favourite comfort foods on the other hand consist of two things - popcorn and soup (not together of course). From as early as I can remember, I'd curl up beside my father in my full pink sleeper pajamas complete with one of those silly trap door contraptions in the back (apparently fashion wasn't an issue for me back then). He'd flick on the TV and ask me in his thick Brazilian accent:

Meh-leessa, want toooo watch a black and white mooovie with dahdee?

Through cold winter nights, I'd curl up beside the number one man in my life and became aquainted with the likes of Cary Grant, Rita Hayworth and Ingrid Bergman.

Then in my teens I'd remember complaining to my mother of having the lingering smells of garlic and onions in my hair and wail about the injustice of how other kids didn't smell like me. However without those two ingredients, I wouldn't be blessed to have tasted some of the most phenomenal soups I had growing up. Through even the most tearful teen breakups, my mother's soup warmed and comforted me right down to my core.

So with that said there are forms of comfort that do have sacrifice as it's nasty twin - no doubt. We can't eat three rows of oreos without understanding that we could be sacrificing a notch (or two) on our belt. We can't stay in a relationship that we know we're unhappy with, without understanding that we're sacrificing who we are. Again, this is where the whole idea of balance comes in - the yin and the yang. With the dark, comes a little light and vice versa and as I've said before it's impossible to be completely good all of the time. In fact, it isn't nearly as fun.

Take relationships between men and women for example. There have been times where we've all sought out comfort from the opposite sex whether it be out of loneliness or sheer lust. While the smells of a lover's cologne on our sheets might bring us comfort and sinful memories, we have to question if what we're doing is truly nourishing us. Same goes with food.

So while I love the egg, ham and Gruyere cheese from my Croque Madame at Bonjour Brioche, I also know that it isn't an every day occurrence. With that said, I can share with you the comfort of soup, which I will gladly shovel spoonful of. My favourite recipe being Sexy Squash Comfort Soup which is not only deliciously creamy, but also easy to make.

SEXY SQUASH COMFORT SOUP

1 organic butternut squash

2 gala apples chopped

1 red onion chopped

1/4 can full fat organic coconut milk

4 cloves garlic chopped

1 tbsp grated ginger

2 tbsp honey

2-3 tbsp coconut oil (I prefer to use Garden of Life's Coconut Oil)

Salt and pepper as needed

Chili flakes & walnuts for topping (optional)

Preheat oven to 400F.

Chop and peel butternut squash (watch your fingers) and set aside.

In a large pot toss in onions, garlic, ginger and saute with coconut oil on medium to high until all ingredients are caramelized. Add in apples and stir until apples soften.

Throw in butternut squash in and stir until well combined.

Add in enough water to barely cover all ingredients and turn heat to high to boil. Bring heat down to medium and cook until squash softens and almost falls apart when piercing with a fork.

Take pot off the burner and hand blend until all ingredients are pureed.

Add in coconut milk and continue to blend. Finally, add in honey, salt and pepper and taste and adjust to your liking.

Pour into a bowl and top with chili flakes and walnuts.

Maybe it's my propensity for loving the sweeter things in life, but squash, particularly butternut squash is one of my favourite winter foods. Being a part of the New World and the Native Americans, butternut squash was the new kid on the block making it's appearance as early as 1944. It's bright orangey yellow colour goes directly to the Spleen meridian in Chinese Medicine which is one of the merdians that ultimately governs our digestion. It's sweet flavour tonifies the Spleen, reduces inflammation and improves qi energy circulation. The seeds on the other hand have been known to destroy worms in the system while fresh squash juice has been used therapeutically to relieve burns. Who knew?

So while I love to indulge every now and then, I can't stress how crucial it is to find balance so that you're able to enjoy the sinful things in life without the guilt. Simply settling for receiving unsustainable comfort from a 5-minute microwaved meal just isn't good enough for me. So when it comes to the question of comfort and sacrifice, I believe that it depends on the kind of comfort you're looking for. There is one that will ultimately create sacrifice while the other cultivates us. The hardest part, is recognizing the difference between the two and having the strength to act on what you know in your heart is best. So when it comes to men and food, quality is essential. At least that way, there's minimal sacrifice of having your cake and eating it too.