The Commonality Between Sex & Food

For the holiday’s one the best gifts I received was the book, BONK: the Curious Coupling of Science and Sex. There is simply nothing more that I love reading about more than sex and food. So while I curl up in bed licking my fingertips to turn page after page, naturally I giggle to myself at every interesting fact that Mary Roach has to offer through her compelling research. However, all this reading and writing about sex and food has made me truly question our views in North America about the two topics. If you take a good look at society the two issues that people struggle with the most is their relationship with intimacy and food. Which makes me wonder, are there commonalities between the two?

In the introduction of BONK, I found it interesting when Mary Roach points out the misconception that people have about those who study sex are "perverts or at the very least, harbor an unseemly interest in the matter." I wouldn't consider myself a pervert, but rather amazed at how the act can bring people together as well as tear them apart. Food on the other hand isn't that far off from this either. The best parties are those when people gather in the kitchen holding onto the stems of their wine glasses sharing tapas. However there are other times when couples neglect the soul of food which then doesn't provide the strength, love or Qi to create them into the strong people they need to be. As they separate themselves with their food they separate themselves with their true innate self. How at that point can we give to others when we have neglected to provide for ourselves? Then there are times when families argue at the dinner table which is the worst time to do so. Our nervous systems are connected to our gut, so when we stress it out, our gut's focus is strayed from its core job of digesting. The outcome? Digestive problems for a society of stressed out, over worked people who could care less with what they shovel in their pie hole day after day.

I had a conversation with a friend of mine that I'll call the Intellect (since not all my friends care to be revealed here). Escaping the confines of a crowded party that got a little too hippy for my liking, we chatted about the commonalities of sex and food. I told the Intellect that I view both as being two art forms that not all people have mastered. And correct me if I'm wrong, but I do believe that these are the only two art forms that require all five senses. For example, in sex you should communicate what you like, you should look at your partner, envelope yourself in their scent, feel their every being and taste their presence. Sound dirty? No. It’s simply a primal instinct that we all have, whether you'd like to believe it or not. Then there's food. You should hear the oil crackle when it's ready as a drop of water hits the pan, you should arrange your plate based on colours, your body should float with the aroma and you should always taste, taste and taste. So in my opinion, the two have more in common than we'd like to think.

The other thing that the Intellect and I had spoken about was how in North America we're oppressed with both sex and food. Let's begin with sexual oppression. You can shoot someones head off, show a man breaking limbs on TV, but God forbid you show a boob. Oh the joys of censorship. And to illustrate my point even further I stumbled upon an article today in Women's Health that I drowned myself in. The topic? "The World's Best Sex". This article prompted me to go right to the source, the Durex 2007/2008 Sexual Report. Shockingly enough, only 59% of Canadians are having sex weekly. Our American neighbours are not too far behind with only 53% doing the deed - ranking the third lowest out of the 26 countries studied. The top countries? Greece ranking highest at 87% and yes, my favourite given my background, Brazil trailing behind at a weekly bonk of 82%...wow. What is wrong with us here in North America??

So I suppose I should obstain from providing anymore Prozac-inducing studies. Instead, I'll provide you with some tips to create a little more steam in your world and hopefully a goofy smile on your face.

1. Ladies, tell him what you want and how you want it damn it.
According to the I Love Female Orgasm: an Extraordinary Orgasm Guide, men are dying to know what we want. Most of the times, they're reluctant to express it with the fear that it shows weakness or inexperience. Not to mention, using communication in bed can be kinda hot, don't you think?

2. Get to Know Yourself
If you have no idea of the inner workings of yourself how can you expect anyone else to? Books like BONK, and The V Book: a Doctor's Guide to Complete Vulvovaginal Health can at least give you a start. Next step is let your fingers do some walking. And if this sounds like too much information for you, or if your one of the few who refuses to do some personal investigation...what the heck are you waiting for?

3. Bring a Little Adventure Into the Bedroom
In Brazil, we have a common saying, sacanagem which loosely translates as dirty trick. Brazilian monogamous couples for the most part, still believe in adventure and turning some dirty tricks of their own in the bedroom to keep things fresh. Whether it's leaving little notes, photos or playing dress up - spicing things up is critical, especially after years of being with one another. Why live life without fire and passion?

Then there is what I'd like to call, Nutritional Oppression. Due to people's financial struggles, busy lifestyles and stress, Canadians have single handily oppressed the capabilities for the nutrients of their food to build them and most importantly love them. Through this type of oppression, we see obesity rates in Canada rise dramatically with Stats Can reporting in 1978/79 13.8% lower than a report that was taken in 2004 where obesity rose to an estimated 23.1%. The dawn of processed, convenience foods have stripped the soul, the love and damn it, even sexiness of our food...thereby stripping these core values in us. So how do we get it back? If you haven't been reading this blog before, I'll say it again...whole, simple food. We've made nutrition so complicated over the last several decades that most people wouldn't know real food from the hole in the wall from the hole in their...well, you know. So here's a recipe that I love to top on salads that gives a sexy sweet bite that trust me, you'll thank me for.

SEXY GINGERED WALNUTS WITH BITE

Several good handfuls of organic walnuts
Enough maple syrup to cover them
2 good tablespoons of grated ginger
Pinch of sea salt or Himalayan Crystal Salt

Preheat oven to 300F.
Line a baking sheet with parchment paper and add walnuts covering them with grated ginger, maple syrup (just to coat them) and a sprinkle of salt.
Place tray in oven and bake until walnuts brown and maple syrup is bubbly.
Remove from oven and cool. Mix them periodically so that walnuts don't permanently stick to parchment paper. In about an hour walnuts should be crispy.
Add to salad with goat cheese and top with a simple balsamic vinaigrette or lemon and oil dressing.

Walnuts are one of my favourite nuts. Looking at them it's no surprise they're good for the brain. Freshly cooked in congee (a rice-type porridge of sorts), walnuts can energetically support the brain's healing. They're warming and excellent for this time of year and they help to strengthen both the kidneys and lungs. Alleviating inflammation due to their high Omega-3 oil content, walnuts are good in small portions for those suffering from arthritis. However when it comes to relating food and sex, here's one food that lives by example.

Since the Roman times, walnuts were used as an aphrodisiac. Maybe it's part in parcel due to its main active ingredient, arginine. This amino acid is absorbed into the body and transformed into the body as nitric oxide, known to enlarge blood vessels and enhance blood flow into the penis. Yes...I said it...penis.

Nonetheless, however you look at it, the commonalities between sex and food are too in your face to be ignored. That maybe, just maybe, if we become more open minded and less pragmatic with both, we can kill two birds with one stone and become happier more fulfilled beings. Maybe we need to explore a new recipe, a new food that we've never tasted before. Maybe we need to surprise our man with a sexy little outfit that will have him dragging his mouth on the floor right to the bedroom. Maybe men need to take the steps needed to feel more comfortable with asking us what we want and take their time at getting there...simply enjoying the journey. Maybe we simply need to be less uncomfortable with the idea of ambiguity. Our North American society is quite possibly too goal-oriented with thoughts like, I'll just grab a bite on my way to the meeting to cure my hunger or I just want to get my rocks off. Maybe if we reverse these patterns, we can savour and experience the full capacity and flavours of both sex and food and live the fire and passion that nature surely intended.