The Missing Ingredient

Tall, dark and handsome. Intelligent, witty and charismatic. A writer and an editor, the Boy Next Door seemed like a good fit. He was everything but somehow, something was missing. It wasn't until the other day when I heard Gail speak about her own love that I felt envious and began to question, could I ever love him? Now I know, only a month into it, it sounds a bit premature, but after your thirties, we all have a general idea what we want - marriage or kids…we’re all searching for something. In my case, I’m not in a mad dash to procreate. Rather, I would like to eventually...

...fall in love.

Truth is, I never have been in love. I can hardly believe that I’m admitting that even through my five year stint, I wasn't in love. I was simply hoping that one day, poof! it would magically happen. However, month after month and year after year, the poof! never came. I was in complete denial.

So with great trepidation and a great guy in front of me, I began to wonder, was that special ingredient missing from him or from me?

My Virgo self went on overdrive and I decided to break it down...let's begin with him:

Pro:

Sexy, passionate, funny and a total gentleman. We have a blast on our dates. He's also a writer just like me and came highly recommended from a trusted friend.

Con:

Hardly calls or sends texts between dates. I rarely hear from him. He's been single for so long that I question if he knows how it is to be with someone. He's not expressive...which to me, matters.

Then there's me...

Pro: Yes, I'm about to blow sunshine up my ass for just a second, so bare with me...

Sexy, passionate, funny and a total lady (well, okay, sometimes). I'm fun to hang out with. I'm creative and expressive.

Con:

I have a hard time opening up to men. In fact, I'm terrified of getting hurt...maybe THIS is why I've never been in love.

Whatever the case was, the Boy Next Door was beginning to feel like the Boy in the Next Country. And yes, I do recall writing how giving something a little space allows the good to flow in. But at this point, there was such a gap, that the good stuff fell right in.

Somehow this made me remember the time when a friend told me that once you find love, you just know. But in my case, I didn’t know. I just knew that something was missing. Whatever it was, I needed to stop postponing the inevitable…I needed to let go. Why bother forcing a square peg into a hole?

So to get my mind off it all, I began sharpening my knife, turned on some Nina Simone and went in search for ways to concoct a healthy take on comfort food. Because as I say time and time again, I can’t help but emotionally eat…so why not eat my way thin damn it?!

As a child, my mother would make chicken fingers every so often. Dipping it into flour and eggs, she'd batter them up and saute the little buggers until crisp. However this time, I had something else in mind...

PECAN COCONUT CRUSTED CHICKEN FINGERS
Batter

1 cup light spelt flour

½ tsp sea salt

½ tsp baking powder

½ cup unsweetened almond milk

¾ cup filtered water

3 tbsp coconut oil

Crust ingredients
¾ cup – 1 cup shredded coconut

½ cup finely chopped pecans (you can do this in a mini chopper or by hand)

3 garlic cloves minced or finely chopped (a garlic press would be very handy in this case)
pinch of chili flakes

Pour batter over chicken and stir to coat each piece. Lay out coconut and pecans on a baking sheet and coat each piece of chicken with coconut, pecans and garlic, pressing it gently to make sure it sticks and the entire piece is covered. Let chicken sit in fridge for 20 minutes to set. Heat coconut oil in saucepan over medium heat and gently drop chicken into oil. Cook until golden brown. Drain on paper towels and serve with a wedge of lime and mango chutney.

Typically, chicken fingers are battered in wheat flour. Now with this big whole grain kick that North America has been on, I have to step in and tell you that wheat is not only genetically modified, but also causes “dampness” - that sticky matter that acts like glue in our intestines. So while spelt is a sister of wheat, I find some are able to digest it a little better. However if you’re like many gluten-intolerant gals out there, you might want to opt for brown rice flour instead. I've sauteed these little pieces of goodness in coconut oil which is an excellent oil to cook in and doesn't make you fat. It actually helps to pull nutrients into your cells and helps to boost immunity. Not to mention, a jar of the good stuff smells and tastes phenomenal. A jar of the bad stuff...well, tastes like vaseline. So go for gold and spend the $20. It's worth it.

Other recipes I’d find out there included crushed corn flakes. However, just like wheat, corn is a major allergen. Not to mention, try looking at a box of corn flakes and you’ll find ingredients like BHT and BHA, which are none other than detergent. Mmm, yummy. I always wondered why our food was preserved with detergent when our cat's food is preserved with vitamin E...do you see the difference? I do.

So to get that crunchy texture with a Caribbean twist, I love the mix of pecans and coconut served with a wedge of lime. Dipping in mango chutney is equally as yummy, so enjoy.

After devouring my little finger lickin’ chickies, I decided to make THE call. Soon enough, I found myself at the nearest Starbucks telling him that I needed more that he could ever offer. And before I knew it…it was over.

So here I am again, back to square one. I have to admit, it does feel a bit lonely and a bit disappointing at how someone so good on paper still doesn’t make the grade. I guess I’m just trying to figure out what I want and can’t settle for. 'Cus really, I wasn't going back but rather moving forward.

I realized that there was nothing missing from either one of us. We're both perfect in our own imperfections, but just not meant for one another. That sometimes, we're simply looking for the right compliment that'll make our hearts swoon...and that is when I believe, we'll just know.