Saving the Little Black Dress

Wednesday night...black dress. Friday night...black dress. Saturday night...black dress. This has been my uniform for my part-time restaurant gig. The selection of black dresses that I own are on a high speed conveyor belt and my poor little black dresses are being put through the ringer and now they were speaking up.

The reason why we were bought was to dress a confident, successful woman.

I second that! Instead what do we little black dresses get to clothe? A girl who studied for four years and is now polishing cutlery because she's scared this is the only way to make money.

I hear that! Take a chance Melissa, do what you are meant to do and believe in yourself! Because at this rate, we're fading fast. Grey will be your new black sister!

They were right. Yes, I was trying to make some quick money before Europe, but at what cost? No sleep and running myself ragged was going to get me to Europe exhausted and possibly sick once my body is able to relax.

Getting into a cab and pulling out my last twenty, I headed over to my sister's on the other side of town for a little get together she was having. I watched the city and bright lights pass by and I began to feel a little anxious as I realized...the pressure is on. Without this job, there was no second source of income and I didn't have a man in my life to split the expense or the weight of my life's troubles. Waves of my ex, the Intellect came like a bad hangover who I loved and hated now more than ever. All the deception he put me through seemed unjust. Plus thoughts of leaving my fully furnished sublet was becoming a reality in only a matter of days. Now, it was all on me.

The morning after the party, I woke up feeling tender from the wine. Not to mention, my emotions were still uneasy. So I did what I knew how to do best...eat.

SEXY SEAWEED NUTTY-AVO SALAD

1 handful wakame seaweed

1/2 organic avocado

Small handful of sunflower seeds

1 tbsp hemp seeds

1 tbsp chopped organic green onion

Pinch of red chili flakes

SESAME LOVE DRESSING

2 tbsp tamari

2 tbsp brown rice vinegar

1 tbsp Vega Antioxidant EFA Oil Blend

1 tbsp sesame oil

1 tsp agave nectar

1/4 tsp brown rice miso (aged 3 years)

Soak wakame for 5 minutes in cool water. Remove wakame from water and pour water into a cup and store into fridge (see electrolyte tip below). Place wakame into a pot with another batch of water and boil for 2-3 minutes. Drain and let cool.

In the meantime, combine all dressing ingredients above in a small cup and set aside. Make sure to combine miso so there aren't any chunks left.

Remove wakame from strainer and with scissors, cut away the spine and cut wakame into 1/2" strips and place into a bowl and set aside.

Place sunflower seeds in a pan with a little bit of sesame oil and on medium to low heat roast until golden. Top wakame with sunflower seeds, avocado chunks, hemp seeds, green onions and red chili flakes. Drizzle dressing and serve.

I know some people are a little scared of seaweed, but if done right, it's so tasty - especially paired with avocado. Not to mention wakame has an incredibly high source of iodine which fuels the thyroid, balances the nervous system and inhibits cells from forming cancer. Not to mention, wakame has at least ten times the calcium found in milk which unlike milk, is highly assimilated in the system because of the alkaline source it's derived from. In Chinese Medicine, seaweed helps to ground us, especially when our insecurities run high which is when our Kidney yin is out of balance. It rejuvenates the yin and helps to anchor and ease our fears.

ELECTROLYTE REPLACEMENT TIP

I have recommended that you keep the seaweed water which I normally mix with 1/4 cup of coconut water. This is THE BEST electrolyte replacement for after a workout. Throwing away all those minerals found in the seaweed water would be a waste. Combining it with coconut water which is as close to blood plasma as you can get is simply the best way to go.

So with a grounding meal in my tummy, I plugged my ears to listen to Miles Davis and drowned out the world as I waited for the subway. It was then that I realized that when I wanted companionship in the past it was for all the wrong reasons. When I couldn't handle to face my fears, or feel that I wasn't good enough to do it on my own, I looked externally for someone to distract me from myself. I wasn't lonely, I was trying to escape. Problem is, when the honeymoon is over, those fears simply come back for you to face them. And now...it was time.

Feeling the ground rumble from the subway coming, I turned to my left and saw the dark tunnel light up as though someone slowly turned up the dimmer. Stepping forward to the yellow line, I closed my eyes, put myself out there and let the speed of the subway's wind rush against me and blow my hair in all directions. Finally stopping, the subway chimed and slid opened its doors. Taking a breath, I minded the gap and felt as though I were stepping into yet another phase of my life.

And it's only in this phase when the little black dresses that adorn my closet will be saved and gladly slip their way onto the woman who I know I'm meant to be.