Seeking Comfort After the Attack

Please see above, a criminal sketch of my attacker. If you see him, report him immediately. Here are his stats:

Brownish grey fur with a big monstrous fuzzy tail.

About 5lbs big...he was huge for his age.

30" tall...maybe taller.

Approximatley 12 years old...but I'm sure he could pass for legal drinking age.

And teeth...I swear the monster looked like a mini Dracula...no joke.

He may be armed with nuts or rocks. Plus, he may use his tail as a weapon..don't approach him.

Reward: The best sexy food dinner money could buy.

Yes, the other night, your Sexy Food Therapist as you know it almost died...again. We came face to face when I thought I needed some air and decided to venture out onto my fire escape. Hoping the crazy people yelling in the alleyways would drown out my thoughts, I saw him...the big bad furry monster.

He was BIG, so big in fact, that I swear he was a bear...but smaller. I know what you're thinking...Oh, but they're soooo cuuuute Melissa.

You don't understand though...I'm a squirrel magnet. I'll walk through the park and I swear they're all looking at me...conspiring. Not to mention, the last time I was on a patio, my friend noticed that there was one staring me down as though it were going to pounce on me at any point. They've invaded the walls of my parent's place, had wild sex and threw parties the week that I was house sitting for them. I called animal control during those weeks and I swear ever since, they've been after me. I just know that they told their little buddies in Toronto how I got them evicted from their sex den...in the dead of winter. I believe the furry monster above is the leader of the pack...the bully...the squirrel on steroids.

He just stood there like a football player ready to tackle me. So I tried to reason with it...I'm good with words, right?

Listen, I'm just trying to sit out here and I know that you think this is your turf, but listen buddy, I just need some space.

But it wouldn't listen...it began crawling closer to me with his nails scraping against the fire escape...it was like a horror movie rendition. My very own Cujo.

Please, I'll even leave you some left over Sweet & Salty Popcorn Love. Do you eat popcorn? Come on, who doesn't like popcorn?

But he kept coming and soon enough, he was running at me. I quickly scurried up from my stoop, screamed bloody murder, ran into the wall in a missed attempt at the door and then finally found it...my in. I slammed the door behind me and grabbed a weapon...my 3" black heels.

Shaken, I wondered, how do I seek comfort?

With my other free hand, I gripped Baby (my iPhone) and ran my fingers through my contacts.

Maybe I can call the cops...no...animal control.

Maybe I can call my father...no, he'll laugh.

Maybe Gail will listen...no, she's in clinic right now.

Or maybe, I could head to the kitchen and make myself something to eat.

Walking on wobbly legs, I made my way to the kitchen, opened the oasis of my fridge and found exactly what I was looking for. Eggs. Gotta love those babies...

I remembered when I was little, my tia Noemi (a.k.a. aunt Noemi) would make me lunch when she'd visit and create this simple egg dish over tomatoey goodness. It was hardy and I loved it. I suppose because it reminds me of her, it gives me comfort. This time, I decided to change it up and make a Thai rendition of it.

COMFORT THAI EGGS

4 organic eggs

1 can diced tomatoes (or better yet, 6 tomatoes diced)

3 cloves organic garlic

1/2 organic red onion diced

1 tsp thai red curry paste

1 tsp turmeric

1 tsp cumin

1/4 can organic coconut milk

1 handful organic chopped cilantro

1 tbsp ghee

Pinch of salt to taste

1 tsp honey (or to taste)

Chop onions and garlic and saute for several minutes on medium to high heat in a large saucepan with ghee. Add in thai red curry paste and combine as best as possible.
Add in tomatoes, coconut milk, turmeric, cumin, salt and honey and simmer for five minutes.
Crack in eggs and cover saucepan to allow eggs to harden.
Sprinkle in cilantro and serve immediately.
Serves 2.

Yes this dish is certainly rich. But going with my 80/20 rule, I think that when you need a little comfort, this is a far cry from terrible compared to eating fast food available on the street corner. While this dish isn't recommended for those with inflammatory conditions (since eggs and tomatoes will promote inflammation), it does level out a little with turmeric which is an anti-inflammatory...you see, I was thinking...

Eggs are probably one of my favourite foods. They're versatile and rich in protein. They help to moisten the lungs when you've lost your voice, and can help with fatigue, heart palpations and dizziness. It amazed me when national campaigns ran about eggs being bad for us. Lecithin which is found in the yolk also makes up for two thirds of our brain. So without enough of it, we feel nervous and on edge. Not to mention the lecithin found in the yolk inhibits the cholesterol found in eggs. So while I'd love to eat them every day, life certainly is about balance. While we need fat, we need to be careful not to over-indulge in it too often. So having about three servings of eggs per week is plenty.

So I sat down with my bowl of comfort and began to feel a little better when I thought about the woman who inspired this dish. Strikingly beautiful and gentle, I used to love going over to her place when I was little to marvel at her dinner parties. She introduced me to caviar and even gave me a sip of white wine to wash it down with when my parents weren't looking. Although she's miles away in Brazil, thoughts of her certainly do comfort me.

So with my feet firmly planted in the ground and my heart back in my chest rather than in my throat, I grabbed Baby and dialed.

Hello?

Hey you, it's me...

Hey there sexy, how's it goin'?

Well you wouldn't believe what just happened...

I told the Illustrator all about the big bad furry monster. Helping me realize that the situation was actually kind of funny, I learned two things:

1) Laughing really does bring me comfort

2) Rather than frantically calling him first, I found comfort from within

Oh and lastly...

3" black heels can double up as the female gun. Who ever said, that we can't find comfort in heels was wrong.