This Little Pinky Went to St. Mike's

Yesterday I had the opportunity to catch up with my close friend Sam a character in itself. A dramatic, beautiful woman with a projecting type of laughter who's guilty pleasure is to watch southern American evangelists on TV with their big blonde hair and botoxed faces. So excited to have our girly day, we ended up eating lunch in the park, having Mint Chocolate Yerba Mate Iced Tea, caught a tear-jerking flick and came back to my place to drink wine and make dinner. Feeling a little tipsy on wine, I got giddy and began showing off my culinary skills. Like a machine, I took to my butcher knife and began chopping vegetables, garlic and my pinky finger...wait...pinky doesn't go into pasta.

Shit, damn, piss, f@#!

But I'm strong like bull, so all I need is a band-aid and this little princess Chef will be just fine. But wait...no band-aids. Searching through the cupboards, I found the answer...maxi pads. They're absorbent right? Cutting a make-shift band-aid, this Princess McGuiver secured it all with masking tape. Upon inspection hours later, it still hadn't stopped bleeding and that's when I realized that this little pinky has to go to St. Mike's. St. Michael's Hospital that is...

Sitting in emerg with Sam still tipsy off of wine and holding my maxi pad taped finger above my heart, we began to giggle uncontrollably over the whole scenario. I mean really, all this for little wee pinky? If you think about it, you can give someone a thumbs up, point with your index finger when you cross the crosswalk, give someone the finger and slide an engagement ring on the ring finger. But the pinky? Sam and I giggled at how the pinky might actually be useless. Other than picking the bat out of the cave, taking the black mascara crud from the corner of your eye and hitting the "A" key on the keyboard, the pinky didn't have much use. However, here were a couple of fun sexual facts that I found on Wikipedia and so useful to share:

"In Australia, when a male driver is showing signs of road rage, a woman will hold up her little finger, showing that she believes the male driver has a small penis, trying to impress her. By doing this, she knows she is not fooled by his road rage to cover up for a small penis size and to impress her. The Australian government used this idea as a campaign to stop vehicle accidents and speeding..."

"In Russia, when two people are French kissing, it is customary to link little fingers together."

But other than these details and trying to think how the pinky finger is used sexually...I realized...it isn't. It isn't sexual at all... If anything it's the finger that's too young to fit in. In fact... the pinky finger is the most unsexual finger of them all. Could it even be sexually frustrated? Was this it's way of getting some attention?

Then I began to think a little deeper. The meridian that runs right in the middle of the inside of pinky and ending at the side nail bed of it is the heart meridian. Looking at my finger I realized...did I single handily butcher my own heart?

Regardless of this disturbing thought, I couldn't help but laugh hard with Sam at the hospital as we made friends with the hacking patients in the waiting room and Lawrence, the security guard. I realized that despite the turn of the evening which resulted in four stitches later, I had an amazing time otherwise. So here is a recipe that cooled us down in the summer heat where two girls caught up, bonded and gabbed all afternoon and evening as it turns out...

SEXY GREEN FRUIT SALAD

1 can chickpeas

6 strawberries sliced

5 figs quartered

1 tbsp goat cheese crumbled

1 handful toasted pecans

1 small handful sunflower seeds

2 handfuls arugula or spinach

Dijon Honey Garlic Vinaigrette

DIJON HONEY GARLIC VINAIGRETTE

5 tbsp olive oil

6 tbsp balsamic vinaigrette

1 tbsp stone ground mustard

1 garlic clove minced

1 tbsp honey

Pinch of sea salt

Mix together and serve on salad.

Toss all ingredients together and top with dijon vinaigrette.

With the intense heat lately, I've been craving cooling food which is why most of my posts lately are variations of salads. But today I had a fruit craving...so bad in fact that for a snack I ate a pint of blueberries this afternoon. I can't deny though that while shoveling them down my throat, I had a moderate fear of turning into the blueberry girl from Willy Wonka. Now I try to avoid all raw because after a while, someone like myself, who is prone to a weak digestive system will suffer when my stomach fire is burnt out from all the cold raw food. But in this case I have added heating properties of mustard and raw garlic that provides my digestive system with the heat it needs to break things down. Thankfully, I didn't eat this before going on a date...we're not just talking garlic breath but garlic smelling fingers. I mean, really, getting up close and personal might be a little challenging when you stink. Which reminds, I should probably share a tip I learned: Rinse your hands in cold lemon water and then rub them on the sides of your aluminum sink. And presto magico...garlic hands gone! Now cup his face with both your hands and lean in for the kiss....

Realizing it was going to be a while in emerg, I told Sam to go home. In fact, I begged her. Looking at me she said...

Pinky swear that we'll always be friends.

Haunting words came back to me...

Pinky swear Melissa that you'll never leave me until I'm 80...then you can go, said the Intellect once upon a time.

So with my maxi pad wrapped up finger I looked up at her and realized that was one promise I felt confident would have a shot at making it through.

Absolutely love...till we're 80...then you can ditch me for a boy.