I Don't Know Why You Say Good-bye...I Say Hello

Knowing I was leaving Casperia was not easy. I connected and built strength with these women. It was difficult leaving them. I'm not good at good-bye's. I'm slightly manic infact. I cry and laugh at the same time and wave my face like it's going to dry up my tears quicker. All I can do is remember the experience with them, the last night and the journey ahead.

So yesterday evening, we decided to have dinner with everyone...just one more time. Composing myself, I smiled and realized...this is our last night together. Regardless, we went out to a local restaurant and once again, I have to say I wasn't impressed with the pasta.

Is it just me? Or am I the ONLY one who can't find the best pasta here?

But ohhh...the dessert...Panna Cotta in a caramelo sauce was fantastic. Yes, panna cotta is all cream, milk and sugar. Yes, it's sinful but I guarantee you that its ingredients are easy sexy whole food ingredients that can be pronounced. Mind you, this is a treat...balance folks. For those who are lactose intolerant, I'm sure there is a soy or almond milk alternative available and I'll probably attempt it when I return to Toronto. But what I loved is that the dairy itself was harvested from the local dairy farmers...how awesome. Instead of using processed gelatinized products, you could instead use agar agar which is a seaweed derivative to cultivate the same jelly texture. Yes, there's always a way around it.

But I'll admit, our waiter was bitchy and likely thought...tourists...again. That didn't stop him from posing with me.

Not my type really, but heck I think I was the only one who got a remote smile out of him...but not in this photo obviously...

Regardless of his attitude, we didn't care...we just needed time together - just one more time. Leaving the bar on a slight angle, we walked up another thousand stairs through Casperia...I swear, it's all about the stairs here...I swear I'll have the tightest ass in Toronto.

But just as the world went silent, I heard it...little miss innocent Nurse from Ireland. It's always the unsuspecting ones I tell ya...

JUST BREEEEEATHE!!!!

Looking behind me, the quietest one from the bunch was doing the downward dog on one of the many whindy steps in Casperia.

God I wish the photo turned out.

Making our way to meet the last amiga from the crew, we finished our night at Friend's Caffe.

As the night closed, we went back to our respective apartments and I sat on the terrace listening to Kings of Leon on replay and cried. It can't be ending...I don't want to leave these girls...can I really do without their support?

Of course I can.

It was long before I felt a tap on my shoulder from the Actress from Australia who came out and hugged and reassured me about the future. I can't thank her enough.

[Fade to black]

6:30am: The church bell in the neighouring piazza goes off. It goes off EVERY morning at 6:30am without fail. But this morning, just when I thought it would stop...a little man in there was probably thinking, "psyche! gotchya, I'm still going!!" and as it would. It's like that little man was laughing and thinking...I'm going to annoy and wake up those tourists. Squiniting my eyes and lifting to turn my head towards the window, I thought...
If I had a BB gun, I think I just might have a clear view of the guy. WHAM! and I could get the sucker and go back to bed...

But like a good girl, I resisted my urge, wiped the crusties out of my eyes feeling rather tender from the night before and mastered my wet room and made it to breakfast.

Transcending, Transformative and Inspirational are only the few words that I could use to describe Sunflower Yoga Retreat...

Yes, this is how I begun my good-bye in the guestbook.

So I will end this like Katrina our yoga teacher would..."from my heart to yours, namaste." Thank you, thank you and thank you for your power ladies.

Packing up the van, I said my good-byes to everyone and left the Actress until the end.

This is just too hard...

[Scene cuts to Melissa breaking down]

But it was inevitable and the Actress who is younger and slightly sunnier than me made quite the impression that will be forever ingrained with me. How could I connect and laugh with someone that could appreciate making an ass of themselves like I could? (Yes, that's me on the right...soooo sexy.)

I didn't want to let her go. I would have packed her up in my suitcase if I could. But it was inevitable...I had to say good-bye.

So with tears welling up in her eyes, I said my farewell.

Yes ladies, we really have prevailed, healed together, bonded and found persepective.

Yes, we made it...and maybe good-bye's aren't so bad.

So with that in mind, let's say good-bye to yesterday's heart break and embrace tomorrow.

Hello, hello. I don't know why you say good-bye, I say hello...