Is It Really Nothing But A Number?

When I was little, I think I had a crush on Count Dracula. I know what you're thinking, first Kenny Rogers when you were two and now Count Dracula. Maybe it was his sharp widow's peak, or the command in his voice, but man, could that boy count. I would HA HA HA with him, raise my arms up to the ceiling, when I felt I did it...I counted to 10! Now as an adult, I will have you know, I can count quite high. However when it comes to sex, I'll also have you know that my number is not up to the heavens. So what happens when you meet someone who can barely remember their number? Should we be mortified? Or should we just shrug it off? Is it really nothing but a number?

I'll never forget the day that I had asked my boyfriend when I was 21 how many people he had slept with. That's none of your business. Appalled, I immediately snapped back. However his response was interesting. If you want to know how many people I've had unprotected sex with Melissa, then ask me. THAT should be your concern. I have to admit, the man did have a point. As I got older, the question got lost and I hardly ever asked it. I just knew I protected myself and the past was something I couldn't change. But the other night, when I was curled up beside Biscotti and was having a little bed chat, he disclosed his number.

[Melissa slaps her mouth looking wide eyed]

Seriously...

Seriously.

Seriously?

Yes, Melissa. Seriously. Does that bug you?

[Freeze frame]

Okay, I'll admit, it DID bug me just a bit...in fact it kind of gave me the heeby jeebies. I remember having this conversation with certain friends of mine and laughing as they'd count slowly and then back peddle...

Shit and then there was Tom. Man, I almost forgot about him. Okay, 24, 25...

We all have a number, but are we being defined by it?

[Unfreeze frame]

No, it doesn't bug me. I'm good. Don't worry.

Kissing him on his cheek and leaving that morning, I needed to figure out how I felt about this. So I decided to spin one up...and take to the bike at Quad East here in Toronto. Starting off slow, I quickly picked up the pace, sat up and rode it hard and long and began to pour with sweat. I was wet. No, it wasn't sex, but damn it, it sure as hell gave me a workout.

Am I annoyed by the number? I mean, was he trying to show the female population the world through his penis?

[Instructor yells]

And turn your knob to the right to increase the resistance.

Knob...ya, I know a knob! I know a knob that's been in a lot of different places. A knob that can't even give me a number, but a range!! Who gives a range??

[Melissa cycles harder to her imaginery finish line]

YES. YES. YES!!!!

[People look over at Melissa on her bike after her orgasmic finish]

Getting my shaky legs off the bike, I drove home and felt a little less frustrated. Other than food, exercise is one of the best stress relievers I could ask for. It moves qi in the body so we don't feel stuck and our livers can course energy - smoothly. However if you're going at it full force like I am, you have to take a moment to rebuild both from an exercise routine (like through yoga) and through sexy food. So when I got home, I pulled out my Sexy Superhero Spirulina Balls.

I love these little bad boys because they offer a good dose of protein and alkalinity from the spirulina. Sometimes, I'll toss in some brown rice or whey protein powder to give this treat an added protein boost. I keep these little guys in my freezer and take them with me on the road when I'm running around and for a little added boost after a workout. After all, how we eat before and after our workouts determines how we perform and recover the next time. Our bodies become acidic after a workout since it is a form of stress on the body. So alkalinize with greens and look for muscle recovery with protein. Generally, I'll make myself a smoothie with a good dose of protein and greens. Vegetarians can choose a variety of proteins from hemp, brown rice and split pea. And while meat eaters can still enjoy veggie proteins, they can also enjoy a full amino acid profile with whey or goat protein which has a smaller molecule structure that makes it easier to digest than cow whey.

Munching some balls, I began to think again (I'm good at that)...

No, I can't change his past, but at least he was honest about it...which is more than I can say for some of the men in my past. He didn't lie or hide it from me, Biscotti instead, laid it out on the table. I respect that. I won't define him by his number, but rather by his word, heart, who he is today and who he is working on becoming tomorrow. So long as I have the common sense to be careful on my end, none of it matters.

Besides, we're just friends...so it shouldn't make a difference, right?

Melissa...

[My mind was speaking to me again]

...you're not kidding anyone.

Do you ever shut up?

No. I'm always going and going and going.

Well, I'm going to give you until the count of 10. 1...2...3...

Alright, I'm going...but I'll be back.