The Big O

Building, it soon courses through your system like fire blazing faster than you know what to do with it. You begin to shake and goosebumps form. Your head leans back and you gasp for air clenching the sheets or digging your nails through flesh. Yes, I am talking about the peak, the climax or the big bang. This is about the big O...the blessed orgasm.

This came to mind when I read this in my daily paper: The Elusive Orgasm. Tickled, I read on. However I was amazed when the article referenced vaginal orgasms as being superior to clitoral ones. That women can only achieve, "greater stimulation with their sex life, mental health, relationships with both partners and friends, and life in general" through vaginal orgasms. (Bielski, Globe & Mail)

What a sham, I thought.

Now this doesn't mean I haven't experienced both, but I find it quite limiting, intimidating and discouraging for those who never experienced a vaginal orgasm.

The best sex I've ever had wasn't with someone who was 12" inches long (ouch), who took tips off of jack-hammering porn or who felt like they had the best swiveling techniques their body parts could muster. Rather, the best sex was when there was a connection. Which isn't as easy to find as you'd think. Because sex is like pizza...even when it's cold, it's still good...but not great.

Which brings me to food. Without understanding our connection with food, we're lost. Problem is, that our society is conditioned to be on the go and grab food without a second thought of the ritual, the love or the orgasmic feeling that food alone can bring. No, I'm not talking about aphrodisiac foods, but rather how whole, sexy foods can make us feel when we put something in our mouths, close our eyes and feel...connected. So here are a couple of tips on how to reconnect with your food:

RITUALS

This was written extensively in the book, French Women Don't Get Fat and also in my latest interview with Kristen Gale when she spoke about her own ritual with Gil Grissom as she watches Las Vegas: CSI. It's about taking time for ourselves and realizing that we need to create the stage for our greatest performance yet. It's one of the ways we can reconnect...

THE 80/20 RULE

Let's face it, we're going to cheat. I was once told by a professor of mine, that as humans we cannot live in a state of deprivation, otherwise we'll fail. I couldn't agree more. People always tell me, you must be so healthy. And yes, I am...to a degree. But I do cheat and we all need to. When we do, we see and appreciate what the 80% whole food majority has to offer. It's the one of the ways we can reconnect...

CHEW, TASTE & FEEL IT

My mother always told me, "you eat like a duck". Two chews and I'd swallow my food whole without a second thought of the flavours or texture. I loved it so much, I would ravage my food like a lover that I wanted badly. So lately, this has been my lesson. Chew, taste and feel it. It's the one of the ways we can reconnect...

SEE IT FOR WHAT IT'S WORTH

Many of us don't actually see our food...and I mean really see it. If we did, we'd see how the meat was seared, how the sauce hugs the main, or how the contrast of the coulis lights up the plate, thereby appreciating it. It's like seeing the eyes of the man before you, seeing how his body curves with yours and how his back contorts with every intimate movement. Food is just as visual and will stimulate your senses similar to sex. It's one of the ways we can reconnect...

EAT WITH YOUR HANDS

Be an exhibitionist and touch your food. Imagine being intimate with someone and never touching them. Never feeling the sidelines of their face or how their lips feel when they kiss the nape of your neck. Feeling the warmth underneath your fingertips as you tear off naan with your right hand (because the left is reserved for your clean hand) is just one of the ways we can reconnect...

LISTEN CAREFULLY

A very under-rated sense when it comes to food. It doesn't mean listening to the snap, crackle, pop, but rather how it sizzles when it's served, or hearing the water boil when you're about to throw in the pasta. It's about the whole experience of cooking, which to many is an inconvenience. Taking pleasure in cooking is one of the ways we can reconnect...

TAKE IT IN

I've always said that my greatest sense was not taste, but rather smell. Our pheromones draw us into each other and with food there are aromas that we love and there are smells that we repel against. Taking this in, understanding what we like, is one of the ways we can reconnect...

I've mentioned this before, but sex and food are very much a like. With sex, we shouldn't feel that we're lacking or change because of what research tell us. It's important not to build walls in our sexual practices but rather create boundaries. It's up to us to understand and uncover our limits and what we like. It's the same with food. So long as we can be open, we can break walls, find solace and truly enjoy it.

With sex and food sometimes when you care so much, you can't even breathe...it's that good. Sex and food is not limiting to convenience and quick fixes, but rather cater to the needs of what really pleasures us and our inherent primal nature. And it's in that, that we can truly achieve the Big O.