I've officially been spanked. The universe has decided to pin me to the ground, teach me a lesson and have its way with me...and not in a way that I would have liked. This happens to all of us since the universe works in funny ways. It brings people into our lives to mirror who we are and sometimes it forces us to let go...even if it means having someone break into your car and steal all your things. Yes, this is life a la Melissa and I am not impressed. Feeling the weight pulling me down, I threw on my runners and ran on my treadmill.[2K: Kings of Leon blares but doesn't mute Melissa's racing mind...]
LESSON #1: Letting Go
Mr. Biscotti and I have attempted friendship. Surprisingly, we didn't have sex however we certainly did stretch the intimacy boundaries laying in bed until 3pm. Unable to ignore our rumbling bellies, we searched for matching socks off the floor and behind the bed and made our way to the south east end of the city for a little Italian treat. Throwing my heavy knapsack behind my seat, we slammed our car doors shut and made our way in for a little pizza and pasta. Later, with tummy's full and undoing a button, I dropped off Biscotti Man and made my way back to Cookie Cutterville. Flipping over the seat, there it was, just a foot mat.
What the...
My bag was gone.
[6K: Melissa begins to remember the horror...oh the horror...and picks up the pace.]
This can't be happening. My new knapsack, my laptop, my digital Canon EOS Rebel camera...gone. Gone...gone...GONE!
[6.24K: Melissa has to slow down as memories of nausea comes flooding back]
Feeling completely violated and helpless, I called everyone and their sister.
Oh my God, this can't be happening. Everything is GONE.
[Hyperventilating and stuttering ensues]
M-m-my laptop...m-m-my cammerrrra...m-m-my bag...
[Enter in snotty crying]
Oh God, m-m-my make-up! THEY...TOOK...MY...MAKE-UP!!
[Melissa gasps, leans over and dry heaves.]
But everything wasn't gone...it was all just stuff.
My laptop was on its last legs anyways and was given to me by the Ex-Fiance two and a half years ago. Somehow, since then I became an electronic pack rat. There on my hard drive were photos of my Vera Wang wedding dress and files from my past life in advertising. Why was I still keeping all of this? Why didn't I throw it all away any sooner? If the Universe was giving me a fresh start on life, this was its first slap way of making me part with the old whether I liked it or not.
Which brings me to...
LESSON #2: People & The Mirror
[9K: Foo Fighters and sweat drips down from Melissa's chin...but still running]
Lately, I've been on a roll. Since the Intellect, I've successfully dated men that have all had one common thread: emotional unavailabile. This last round included Mr. Biscotti, a man who openly admitted to being all over the place with much to sort out from his past. However playing the friendship card certainly didn't work in this scenario as boundaries were crossed and feelings hurt.
[10K: Black Sheep's, You Can Deal With This or You Can Deal With That plays and Melissa guns it in an effort to run away from her thoughts.]
Is it possible that a part of me is still not available? Did Mr. Biscotti and I have too much in common? Too much fire, too much intensity that it was bound to blow up? Is the Universe forcing me to be alone for just a little while longer?
[Melissa looks over to her left of her treadmill and sees her dying roses in the corner of the room]
God, he didn't even out live the life span of the dozen red roses he gave me.
[11K...12K...13K: Full sprint despite the aching in Melissa's knees]
Cooling down and finally getting off, I layed down on my yoga mat in shivasna.
[Fredric Chopin: Nocturne C# minor plays and Melissa's mind begins to slip and muscles begin to relax into the mat. Memories begin to flash through her mind.]
That laptop was with me in Teluride, Colorado when I was with the Chef over a year ago. I sat writing entries overlooking the mountains...
I layed on my belly on an uncomfortable fire escape in the Batcave in Ghettoville trying to shoot my new foodie pics with that camera in natural light...
That laptop was with me when I would read my entries to Sarah in the Estrogen Den over a glass of wine at midnight...
My camera was with me when I took a venture on my own and travelled through Rome, Casperia and Florence. It captured the beauty and thankfully I have them all online...
And then there was Mr. Biscotti who was the first to make me food that fed my soul. No kidding, this is just about the best soup that have graced my taste buds.
SEXY PUY LENTIL SOUP WITH SMOKED CHICKEN
2 medium onions
2 tbsp minced garlic
2 tsp chopped fresh ginger
2 cups chopped smoked chicken
2 cups roasted butternut squash
2 cups kale chopped
1 3/4 cup puy lentils
6 cups chicken stock
1 tsp whole cumin, coriander and fennel seed (grind in a coffee grinder)
Heat olive oil, add chopped onions, garlic and smoked chicken.
Cook until onions are caramelized, add ground spices and chopped ginger and cook for an additional minute. Add chicken stock, butternut squash, puy lentils and cook until lentils are cooked. Add kale and season with salt and pepper.
You may not be familiar with puy lentils from Le Puy region in France but they are certainly worth trying out in the kitchen. Their small, slate-green colour have a distinct blue marbling, have a peppery taste and hold their shape after they've been cooked. Salt is added in the end to avoid the lentils from turning hard prematurely. In Chinese Medicine, lentils benefit the heart but has a major affinity for the kidneys, which helps to nourish and sedate our fears. Probably why lentil soup is considered by many cultures around the world as comfort food.
[Melissa's becomes one with her mat and peacefulness resumes]
Sometimes its really hard to part with things and people in our lives, but sometimes, it's necessary. Whether they're inanimate objects or not, they all carry some sort of energy that may tug at our heart, show us another view of the world or even ourselves. Maybe rather than to blame others for how things turned out, we can trust that it all played out just the way it was supposed to. That we have to take the experience for what it is, learn from them and move on. And maybe then we'll be able to wade in the beauty of not only letting go but the sheer acceptance of it.
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